Colombiana // New Yorker// mid 20's//
I'm just a fucked up girl who's looking for my own piece of mind. Nudity warning! Mostly not sexual but intimate or aesthetical.
This is a personal blog. Expect random fandom stupidity and follow at own risk.
In the movie American Psycho, Christian Bale based the main character on a Letterman interview featuring Tom Cruise in 1999. When asked about the inspiration behind Patrick Bateman, he replied:
“Tom Cruise on David Letterman had this very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes.”
Every day of my life I think about this fact. Every single day.
Things you can do for your future self that you will really appreciate:
Caramelize, like, a whole ton of onions.
Really, get a whole ass bag of yellow onions, peel, chop, cry, put on a podcast and start stirring those tasty bastards. Delgaze every so often. Do like, 12, 15 onions until they’re a thick, dark brown paste of flavor then spoon them into an ice cube tray and freeze.
So later, when you’re tired and Don’t want fast food again, or it’s 3AM after a meds adjustment and you need curry right the fuck now, or it’s family dinner night and you want to look like an adult, sad, tired, mentally wobbly future you can crack open the freezer, dump a cube or three in the pan with the chicken or curry or stuffing and get all that delicious goodness delivered to your brain without the effort of a hot stove right then.
So next time you have three hours to kill and want to do some self care,
Caramelize so many fucking onions.
i’ve posted before about the concerned looks i get from grocery store employees due to my regular habit of purchasing 40+ onions for caramelization purposes. they’re great in sandwiches
pro tips:
use butter instead of oil
low heat + lots of time = carmalezation magic
freeze in a large freezer bag squished flat
they shrink in the pan, you’ll only get < ¼ the volume you start with.
they last ages in the fridge
1. Do they not have Costo in your home dimension?
2. Personally I love the flavor of onion, esp the caramelized goodness, but can’t fucking stand the texture of onion so I cook them extra long, deglaze with the white wine people kept giving me as housewarming presents despite the fact I don’t drink to get the Fond AKA THE GOOD SHIT off the bottom/destroy the cell structure more, then ran them through the food processor to make… Like apple butter, but with Caramelized Onions.
It’s still really good on sandwiches, esp grilled cheese. You can also just add it to stock or salad dressings too!
3. You’re 100% right about using butter it works so much better. I think the browning of the butter adds a lot of flavor that you wouldn’t get with an oil.
4. … I should try this with the duck fat next time. That’d be baller.
5. You can also chop up your fresh herbs and store them in butter (which also freezes great) so they last longer and then you also have herb butter for either cooking or toast.
So this was a 3 AM shit post about my love of caramelized onions and people are tagging it as #life hacks, #meal prep or fucking #adulthood like I’m some put together kind of person with a skincare routine and not a walking disaster that decided to make lamb curry at 2AM.
But. I guess I can take it as a sign that maybe I’m not as much of a mess as I think I am.
To make herb butter btw-. Don’t melt the butter just leave it covered out on the counter until it’s really soft (time varies by region) then scoop it into a resealable bowl, add you chopped herbs and mix, then cover and put back in the fridge.
Due to the introduction of plant matter herb butter is less shelf stable than unaltered butter and should not be left in a butter dish, but you can take it out an hour or so before you use it in front of guests to slow-soften it again.
if you have a slow cooker, you can do it that way. (helpful if you don’t have much time, but you still want to help out future you.) fill the slow cooker half or three-quarters full of sliced onion, drizzle melted butter or olive oil over the top (say 2 tablespoons per onion), shake a little salt in, and set the timer for 10 hours on low. maybe stir occasionally. if you want darker and more decomposed onions, slow cook another 3 or 4 or 5 hours with the lid slightly ajar so the liquid can evaporate. smell the oniony goodness! and then stick it in the freezer.
you can turn the slow cooker on before you go to bed, and wake up to a kitchen that smells like onion. and if you’re me, and your bathroom door is off the kitchen, your towels will probably smell like onion too. (my bathroom door is like two feet from the stove, which means every time i make a quiche or an onion omelette my bathtowel smells like fried onions for DAYS. it’s weird but not unpleasant.) (oddly enough my towel never smells like anything else i might make on or in the stove.)
the hormone monsters aren’t pedophiles in big mouth they literally personify intrusive thoughts ppl can get during puberty. big mouth is raw as hell and can be really really nasty but the people who have worked on it aren’t pedophiles lol take a seat
You know everybody was slamming Netflix’s Big Mouth for how ugly it is, and yeah its really ugly…BUT. Its also one of the few shows about sex I’ve seen talk openly about-
1. Female Sexuality and how it exists. 2. How women experience arousal in different ways than men including through literature/smells/ideas/experiences. 3. How periods work and how the vagina works (through song and Kristen Wiig respectively) 4.How both women and men can initiate unwelcome sexual contact 5. THE IMPORTANCE OF CONSENT 6. There was a whole section of one episode about calling out an abuser on his behavior and being supported by others (including men) and not being slut shamed. 7. That being gay is OK and sometimes you are unsure of your orientation and that’s OK too because its on a spectrum. 8.How the body feels gross during puberty and there’s nothing wrong with that.
The show is clearly aimed at a younger (middle school to high school) audience and despite its gross out humor and weird out of touch Seinfeld jokes I think its oddly educational and I’m kinda glad it was made.
Also I could watch Maya Rudolph be the Hormone Monstress forever. She legit made me laugh a few times. Thanks Maya.
